Please don't stop the music.

Friday, June 26, 2009

I think. I'm at a point in my life where it's do or die.

I'm sitting in front of the computer and eating tiramisu (which I feel has some alcohol but my sister a.k.a the alcoholic doesn't think there's any) that they brought back from the restaurant they went to on Father's Day. I don't know why, but I kept thinking it was a Japanese restaurant so I refused to go and I felt kind of lazy and sleepy. Turns out, it was an Italian restaurant and I missed out on it. God, I feel stupid. My mum was telling me, while I was scraping at the complimentary tiramisu cake (they became members (?!?!)) that they brought back, that she ordered some beef thing and it was quite a small piece on a really big plate. I gave her my -.- look and told her that's what you get for going to some Italian restaurant. Apparently my sister had pasta so it was a better deal since it was quite filling. They spent more than a hundred bucks @.@ I've never seen them spend so much except for like, important stuff. Dang I should've went.

Three consecutive days of Physics remedial. Wow. I have to say, it's quite creepy now that I know he knows what's going on in blogs 'cause he knows that people post what he says on their blogs. That's three "know"s in a sentence. This reminds me of the movie 'Knowing'. Okay, deviating from the main point here. Anyway, I feel like I have to censor things now. It's really weird. But, knowing myself, I'll just say it all out anyway. I was bored to tears. Today I could've cried. Literally. This is how I spent the three hours: half of the time talking to someone beside me (though today I stoned at my bag 'cause there wasn't anyone interesting near me), a quarter of the time doing the worksheet he gives out, an eighth of the time daydreaming and the last eighth of the time trying to absorb whatever he's trying to teach. Honestly, I don't need remedial for last year's topics. I need this year's ones. Guess that speaks volumes about their teaching abilities. I'm not saying he's not smart, he's just not a good teacher.

I realise I really miss blogging. Huh. I guess writing really is my passion after all. That's why the drama route in JC is so tempting. I'll be able to write about the types of plays and give CRITIQUE. God knows I've got alot to say about stuff. I'm just only able to write it down, not say it out. Then the performing in public part just brings out memories of stage fright. I swear my stage fright's horrible. During NanHua Speaks, I pretend I'm blind and everyone else isn't really alive and I'm speaking to myself. Also, there aren't concrete scripts, just a basic one for the storyline. So that just makes me feel more comfortable. But in drama, you do have to memorise a script. And I'm like a human Dory.

I feel. Insignificant.

Well, I think I'll go back to eating my tiramisu. And spending my time watching random videos online. Such a great way to de-stress. Though I'm probably the person with the least amount of stress, even though I'm left with the most amount of homework. Ironic, huh? I just had a random thought. I think I'm not good with commitment. That's why I don't have lasting friendships. God I need to change this. Oh interesting: my sister's freaking out about the fact that she has a flu. She came back from church camp in Malaysia and she went out like, everyday for the past four days since she came back. And she's getting horribly paranoid about H1N1. It's funny. I just had another random thought. I think for girls, older brothers are better than younger ones because the younger ones are just like pests. Most girls I know don't like their younger brothers that much. Actually, just referring specifically to SiewKiang. Haha.

It's weird when I start writing and everything just flows out. Well, then. I better stop before some horrible thought comes out and I write it down here.

p.s. I can't believe I proofread my posts to check for grammar, spelling and whatnot mistakes. I'm such a dork -.-

12:03 AM